What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
