i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
