so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
