Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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