You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
