This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
