i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
