I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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