yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
