Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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