I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wear drunk well.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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