Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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