Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
