woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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