He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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