What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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