I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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