where am i from again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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