i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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