so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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