I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
