Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
