i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
two words: eviction party
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
