Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Vodka?
Forever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
