we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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