I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
