He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
