I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
