Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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