So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
