My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
