my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
