definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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