I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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