why didn't you poke me back
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
