I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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