So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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