nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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