i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
