How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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