Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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