Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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