It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
