i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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