if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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