The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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