Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
