Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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