How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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