ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
