office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
