mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize