Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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