he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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