Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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