this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
