Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
